Those generous curs at South West Trains are currently offering a travel-anywhere-on-our-network-for-a-tenner ticket at weekends. So, who am I to refuse the chance to travel up to the concrete hell-hole that is Poole for a bit of BLASPHEMOUS Sunday shopping and gaping at the full horror of the Dolphin Centre*?
One cannot help feeling that in order to afford this once-in-a-lifetime offer, our favourite regional rail franchise might have cut a few corners on their PA system:
"Thank you for travelling on this South West Trains service to Weymouth.
"The next station is Wool.
"Wash at forty degrees, reshape and dry flat. Do not tumble dry.
"Please mind the gap between the train and the platform."
I didn't mind the gap at all. It was lovely.
* Made entirely out of dolphins and dolphin by-products
13 comments:
Ten pounds? Try this instead...
http://www.watoday.com.au/travel/new-10pound-poms-snap-up-tickets-to-australia-20090806-eagr.html
Second for Poole Pottery.
Done a Poole?
Yes, but are the announcements still done by the Indian/Pakistani chap who sounds like every station announcement should be on the lines of "The next station will be Wareham gunner Graham sahib!". Always worth the journey for the mirth and hilarity although folks were never quite sure whether in fact it was all just a piss take.
Von: They're all pre-recorded in a studio somewhere in London and spliced together by computer. And repeated every ten seconds so you don't get a moment's peace.
What is the horror that is the Dolphin Centre? Restaurent?
I used to work in the Dolphin centre. The thieving that goes on there...
Scary: Damn! I suppose you will be telling me that they have replaced the steam locomotives and private compartment carriages next?
What - the dolphins are tea leafs?
also what definition of gap are you using?
I see the train station believes it is 'way out.' Rather arrogant, if you ask me.
Urgh- the Dolphin Center *shudders* And beware all who walk through Poole High Street after dark. Here be chavs.
Also- how did South West trains manage to get the computerised announcements so unbelievable insincere? "I AM SORRY (said in the same tone as 'fuck off and die'), but the. Ten. Twenty-five. Service to. LONDON WATERLOO. Is delayed by approximately FIFTEEN MINUTES. I'msorryforthedelaytothisservice (this final part said hastily, like a naughty ten year old being forced to apologise).
Is there anything actually in Wool? How about Sway? Hinton Admiral? No, thought not.
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