I'll leave the comments to the experts but will contribute something that I guess SD will appreciate; it's told with people preparing Sunday lunch in mind:
This story has been going the rounds in Bristol for about twenty years now.
A couple shared a house with a man. As is the way with such relationships, occasionally things became tense and overwrought.
One Sunday, the couple went out for the day, leaving a turkey taken from the freezer on the kitchen table to defrost in time for when they came back and it would become their evening meal.
The man, coming into the kitchen after the couple had left and at the end of his tether about actions like dumping large dead birds on a communal table and leaving them there all day, fretted about just how he could get back at his selfish cohabiters.
Observing the turkey slowly warming up on the kitchen table, his eyes focused on the bird's "vent" (I don't have to tell you, do I?), increasingly drawn to this part of the bird's anatomy, the man realised he could simultaneously satisfy his ill-feeling towards the couple and, by helping them with their food preparations, show that bygones were bygones.
And so, the man duly stuffed the turkey. It's not recounted how many times he stuffed it because at this point in the telling of the story, details were lost in the sounds of listening meat-eaters retching and gagging.
As a vegetarian, I would like to offer this story to our carnivore friends, to recount over dinner today; "Anybody for Bread Sauce - it's nice and runny and warm and is easy to swallow..."
I call it "Gobble gobble".
11 comments:
First for perplexity at the duck posting on a Saturday and a Sunday.
Second for wondering why the duck was in the US wearing his turkey outfit?
Actually, sorry. A closer look reveals it to be Kevin Rudd showing his appreciation in the usual way.
A bird in the Bush is worth ... no wait ...
Why did they name the turkey Monica?
Oh, that's why.
I'll leave the comments to the experts but will contribute something that I guess SD will appreciate; it's told with people preparing Sunday lunch in mind:
This story has been going the rounds in Bristol for about twenty years now.
A couple shared a house with a man. As is the way with such relationships, occasionally things became tense and overwrought.
One Sunday, the couple went out for the day, leaving a turkey taken from the freezer on the kitchen table to defrost in time for when they came back and it would become their evening meal.
The man, coming into the kitchen after the couple had left and at the end of his tether about actions like dumping large dead birds on a communal table and leaving them there all day, fretted about just how he could get back at his selfish cohabiters.
Observing the turkey slowly warming up on the kitchen table, his eyes focused on the bird's "vent" (I don't have to tell you, do I?), increasingly drawn to this part of the bird's anatomy, the man realised he could simultaneously satisfy his ill-feeling towards the couple and, by helping them with their food preparations, show that bygones were bygones.
And so, the man duly stuffed the turkey. It's not recounted how many times he stuffed it because at this point in the telling of the story, details were lost in the sounds of listening meat-eaters retching and gagging.
As a vegetarian, I would like to offer this story to our carnivore friends, to recount over dinner today; "Anybody for Bread Sauce - it's nice and runny and warm and is easy to swallow..."
Which came first.....
Who's the biggest turkey in this picture?*
*the one on the far right
Kevin Rudd? I thought it was Stephen Harper.
Given the chance, I think I'd vote for the turkey. :)
I did. Twice.
@ Westengland.
Isn't that how everybody stuffs turkeys?
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