Introducing the new Scaryduck car of DOOMAnd, shit, yes. One thing has led to another and I've found myself driving a Nissan Micra, the former property of a little old lady from Hampshire.
I did a bit of digging, and found that little old lady isn't dead, so I am pleased to report that I haven't accidentally purchased a curs-ed Nissan Micra, forever haunted by a spirit that screams "SLOW DOWN! You'll kill us all in our beds!" every time you take it above 40 mph.
For the petrol-heads, the petite exterior hides a massive 6.2 litre V-12 engine, twin warp coils, pan-dimensional temporal drive and phased plasma rifles. Group 2,392 insurance.
And I suppose it must have a name. No more cars-of-DOOM. This one shall be called The Fail Whale.
It is blue.
It looks like a whale.
And it is built on FAIL.
The Fail Whale.
You may use the comments facility to congratulate me on my choice of motor. Or point and laugh.
24 comments:
Looks like someone's vandalised your numberplate. Bad start.
I hate to go all popular culture on you but you do know what poor, dead, Jeremy Clarkson said about your choice of car, don't you?
You don't? It was when he was test driving a Lamboutrghini Countach and he said something along the lines of "this isn't the worst car I have ever driven because, obviously, I've driven a Nissan Micra."
Oops, can't spell "Lambourghini". Bad me.
Feh.
What does Clarkson know about cars, eh?
The worst car ever is - of course - The City Metro.
My stepson has a car with a 7 litre engine. It is too much fun to drive, just revving it up causes pedestrians to lose control of their bladders and lorry drivers to pull over. It's like driving Concorde.
I will not point and laugh, because as not so poor dead Frankie Howerd said, "Its cruel to mock the afflicted".
Skirmishmonkey.
'ope yous no wot yous do'in
I'm going to both point/laugh *and* congratulate you. Because of what it is, and because I don't have a car at all. I'm a little envious of the Fail Whale at the mo'...
Just remember, looks aren't everything. Beneath that exterior could lie a...ah bugger it, it's a Nissan Micra isn't it? HAHAHAHAHA! SNORT!
Why not complete your social humiliation & take up caravanning as well?
Although you'd need to get a new car for that....
Keep an eye on the cross-member which supports the radiator, as it has a habit of going rusty, leading to EPIC FAIL at MOT time...
Shep: I shall DO THAT THING
At least it looks as if no-one would want to nick it.
Don't worry, Nissan did make a worse car. You'll find that out when you sail past an Almeira.
Richard - You mean the Almera that TFMD drives?
Oh, the poor TEH TFMD.
But... a blue method of transport with a pan-dimensional temporal drive? Should it not be called TARDIS?
Scary Who-o-o-o, oooo-oooo-oooo!
Scary. WTF? And OMG. And other abbreviations.
Nooooooo. Please promise me that you will never use the second or third land of a motorway.
I thought the Micra had been banned from the roads due to a technical fault - it being a really crap car and all that?
Anyway: 'The worst car ever is - of course - The City Metro.'
You are of course right Mr Duck. But the City Metro was tested by Captain Slow, not by la Clarkson.
Look on the bright side. At least it's not a Honda Jazz.
Surely a Honda Jizz?
My daughter has one, same colour but powered by an engine from a petrol strimmer. She is a "careful lady owner" and loves it. She gives me lifts so I won't slag it off.
Did I point out that it (really) is the 1.3i ? ie Shit/shovel interface. I overtook a Honda Jazz today....
You do realise that in that, you have ruined any chance of success at dogging.
- Skirmishmonkey.
I done a LOL at TFMD.
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