Hi! I'm pop music's Dr Fox, genuine doctor of popology. You may have heard of my identical twin brother - also Dr Fox - who is the current Secretary of State for Defence. When we get together, life's a BOMB!Today, I am investigating one of pop music's most enduring mysteries. What happened to the most popular one hit wonders of the 1980s? I refer, of course, to:
The Reynolds Girls
OR WERE THEY?
The dynamic duo burst onto the world of pop in 1989 with their hit "I'd Rather Jack".
"I'd rather Jack," they sang, "than Fleetwood Mac". And fair play to producer and music mogul Pete Stock-Aitken-and-Waterman for shoehorning that reference to filthy sex in there, the "Fleetwood Mac" being much the same deviant practice as the legendary Cleveland Steamer, only with orange food dye. Hence the term "Tango in the Night."
Let us consider the song itself.
"I'd Rather Jack", by which they mean perfecting the Acts of Onan instead of engaging in the aforementioned "Fleetwood Mac". And who -frankly - would blame them?
But: To "jack" in the masturbatory context is the masculine term. We all know - if we had been listening in class - that the feminine is to "Jill".
Therefore, the title of the smash hit song should strictly have been "I'd Rather Jill", with the not-quite rhyming couplet "I'd rather Jill than spend the night in the Vatican with a priest called Phil".
Unless, of course, The Reynolds Girls were The Reynolds Boys.
The Reynolds Ladyboys, even.
Another of pop's mysteries solved.
9 comments:
the "Fleetwood Mac" being much the same deviant practice as the legendary Cleveland Steamer, only with orange food dye. Hence the term "Tango in the Night."
You bugger, I've just snorted tea down my clean shirt.
Pavlov, is that a euphemism?
Pseudonymph. I thought you'd told me Scary's script was fulfilled and that he'd received it? Not that that's any guarantee he'll take it, I suppose.
Side effect?
I think they ran a Brampton Pie franchise in Macclesfield but were closed down in February due to over-use of orange food dye.
What an assault upon the senses at this time of the morning. Now my eyes and ears are hurting...
Two thoughts....
1) Any relation to Jedward?
2) More like Acts of Sappho the way were carrying on.
Either way, still total shite.
Sometimes, SD, it appears you just type whats spilling out of you brain... which one the one hand terrifies us to the core - you're free to roam the streets, etc. On the other hand, it gives us all a damn good laugh :)
Now I know what a Cleveland Steamer is:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cleveland%20steamer
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