Thursday, May 26, 2011

On returning to the single life

On returning to the single life

You know that thing when you buy a car, and you see loads of the same make everywhere you go?

It is - I find - exactly the same when you split from a long-term partner.

There are Yummy Mummies EVERYWHERE. And for the first Time, I am allowed to notice them.

Previously:

"Hey wow..."

"Stop staring at her."

"I'm not staring at her. Besides - how do you know? I'm wearing sunglasses."

"Trust me, I know."

Now:

"Hey wow..."

[silence]

Then: "Stop staring at me, you pervert."

Cannot win.

7 comments:

Pseudonymph said...

'Stop stararing at her.'
Best typo ever. It's more than a stare, it's a drool type of look in a ladywise direction.
Plz not to change it and make me look like a fool.
For I am a YM. I'll tell the others.

TRT said...

Get thee back to the internet, eye-rapist! People like you shouldn't be allowed out on the street (with sunglasses).

Alistair Coleman said...

I have changed the typo, for it offends Rodney, the soap-headed God of OCD.

Erin said...

All hail Rodney!

Pseudonymph said...

Tough luck. Tomorrow, all the YMs will be wearing their old tracksuits, and have greasy hair.
For your viewing pleasure.

Richard said...

It's when they stare back and don't say anything, that's when the panic sets in because you realise it's been so long that you haven't got a bloody clue about what to do next.

TRT said...

Well, not exactly the same. I mean, you don't get wracked with guilt and have to suffer embarrassingly long pauses of awkward silence during phone calls if you decide you don't like a car after taking it for a test drive.